Dad Jokes

After it’s spent a hard day protecting my phone I take my OtterBox off. I rest my case.
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. I suppose it's probably a knight mare.
My friend couldn't afford his water bill. So I sent him a get well card.
People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad, but people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
How do you get a farm girl to go on a date with you? A tractor.
I was kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
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