Dad Jokes

I recently bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe. It's a small world.

I accidentally got rice in my headphone jack. Now all my music sounds grainy.

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

It's important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times. It could be a lifesaver.

After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate. It was the father, son, and the goalie host.

The problem with Nearly Headless Nick is that he’s a poorly executed character.

My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought. It's an extremely rare dish order.