Dad Jokes

I just went to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask. I don't think she had any surgeries planned, so it must have been a coughy filter.

The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit the Corona Virus and should not be quarantined any longer. W.H.O Let the dogs out!

Shout out to whoever created the word plethora. It means a lot.

My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.

I made a playlist for hiking. It's got music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. It's my trail mix.

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

I can't find my Gone In 60 Seconds DVD. It was here a minute ago...