Dad Jokes

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe you idiot, breathe!"

When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born.

My son told me he didn't understand cloning. I told him, "that makes two of us."

Why did the communist only use lower case letters? They hate capitalism!

I sleep with a bat under my bed. Just in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.

Whoever invented the knock knock joke should get a no-bell prize!

I just spent a whole bunch of money on a limo only to find out it didn't include the driver. All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.