Dad Jokes

I keep asking people what LGBTQ stands for, but I'm not getting any straight answers.

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects The Spanish Ink Precision.

My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"

Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia! Man: Wait, I can explain everything!

What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.

Did you see the circus? It was intense.

I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too!