Dad Jokes

I thought I spotted a leopard once, but it turns out they’re born like that.

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.

I tried calling the tinnitus helpline, but it just kept ringing.

To the thief who stole all my cans of red bull, I don't know how you can sleep at night.

Why is being a dwarf not all that it is cracked up to be? Because 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy!

I asked the judge to shorten my sentence and he interrupted me.

Why do NBA referees check their voicemail after every quarter? Because they missed so many calls!