Dad Jokes

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."
"Do you expect me to bleach?" "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to dye."
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag's a big plus.
We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.
My friend David just lost his ID. Now we just call him Dav.
What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car man
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
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