Dad Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects The Spanish Ink Precision.
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia! Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.
Did you see the circus? It was intense.
I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe you idiot, breathe!"
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