Dad Jokes

Before my surgery my anesthesiologist asked me if I'd prefer to go with gas, or to get hit in the head with a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.

The English language would be horrible without conjunctions. No ifs, ands, or buts.

As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself... "This takes me back"

My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Now I'll never hear the end of it.

I buy my guns from a T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer

I wrote a book on penguins, but in retrospect, I realize that paper would have been easier.

Chickens like to draw, but a cock'll doodle, too.