Dad Jokes

Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t. It was my longest running joke of the year.

The rate at which wood burns in a fireplace can be calculated with a log function.

How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh? Nothing, it's on the house!

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments. This has left scientists scratching their heads.

How much room do fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible!

What do you call a can opener that's broken? A can't opener.