Great Dad Jokes

I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had!

I tried searching for a book on impotence, but nothing came up.

I was named after my father. Mostly because he was born first.

Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime-mates!

My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. But now, it's all water under the fridge.

I’ll never give money to anyone collecting for a marathon. They just take the money and run.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of us are never gonna work out.