Great Dad Jokes

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One time I paid $20 to see Prince in concert, but I partied like it's $19.99!

I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused. Now I'm in hot water with the japanese mafia!

How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark’s family? One Buck.

I was staying in a hotel in Madrid, when I got very sick. I was too sick to go to a hospital or even get out of bed. So I called downstairs at the desk for help, and they sent up a doctor. After giving me some medicine, I quickly began to feel better. I asked him why this hotel even had their own doctor. He smiled and said "nobody expects the Spanish inn physician"

I just had a half hour argument with my 5 year old about the importance of wearing pants in public, and they won. So today I'm wearing pants to take them to school.

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Me: "Why?" Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline..."