Funny Dad Jokes

My wife complains a lot about being pregnant, but hey, it's one way to make a living.

If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making “Friends” references. No one told me life was gonna be this way.

What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog, it croaks every night!

My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable your averages are. The Ns justify the means.

If two rival car dealerships had a shared parking area, they would have a lot in common.

At the grocery store: milk - check, eggs - check, tomatoes - check. Clerk: Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.