Funny Dad Jokes

I was going to tell a banana joke, but it's not appealing.

They say Nietzsche was the father of existentialism but the Ancient Egyptians were the first nihilists.

Why doesn't the sun go to college? It already has 27,000,000 degrees.

Customs officers might not always agree with you, but they can see where you're coming from.

My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry, I'll return!

Took the shell off my racing snail today. Thought it might speed him up, but if anything, it made him more sluggish.

A man is at a funeral for an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says yes, and the man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Bargain". The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, that means a great deal."