Funny Dad Jokes

Did you see Trump's State of the Union speech? Apparently Nancy Pelosi thought it was tearable.

My Wife is freaking out about the coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning. Now I'm two hours late and I'm not even a fan of Jim Carey.

They say you are what you eat... well, today I bought some ready to eat chicken and when I got home, sure enough, I was ready to eat chicken.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse

How do you measure a red hot chili pepper? You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.

Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.