Funny Dad Jokes

My Wife is freaking out about the coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning. Now I'm two hours late and I'm not even a fan of Jim Carey.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse

How do you measure a red hot chili pepper? You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.

Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.

My brother named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They're his watch dogs.

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.