Funny Dad Jokes

There's someone in town that is going from store to store shoplifting clothes in order of size. Police believe they're still at large.

I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.

Doctor: We had to remove your colon. me why?

I like to play chess with old men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

Chickens like to draw, but a cock'll doodle, too.

I recently sued the airline after they misplaced my luggage. I lost my case.

I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October. I call it my jingle bell rock.