Funny Dad Jokes

My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll himself a joint. He's now high on my list of priorities.

Someone stole all the Red Bull from one of the local stores. I don't know how they can sleep at night.

I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig yet.

Prime numbers and stoners have a lot in common. The higher they get, the more spaced out they become!

What do the Romans use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars

I tried to get camping insurance but they turned me down. If my tent gets destroyed I won't be covered!

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? The P is silent.