Funny Dad Jokes

I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.
My wife always says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I love her to death, but she's a terrible surgeon.
Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two...
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
How much does a pirate pay for ear piercings? A buck an ear.
I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig yet.
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