Corny Dad Jokes

The problem with Nearly Headless Nick is that he’s a poorly executed character.

After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate. It was the father, son, and the goalie host.

It's important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times. It could be a lifesaver.

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

I accidentally got rice in my headphone jack. Now all my music sounds grainy.

I just spent a whole bunch of money on a limo only to find out it didn't include the driver. All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.

I sleep with a bat under my bed. Just in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.