Corny Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

My son asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression. I said, “Absolutely!” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman!” He replied, “Thanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"

My wife told me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was kidding. Then I saw her face...

It's only a murder of crows if there's probably caws.

I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had!

I tried searching for a book on impotence, but nothing came up.

I was named after my father. Mostly because he was born first.