Corny Dad Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

Bullets are really weird because they only do their job after they’re fired.

Smoking will kill you and bacon will kill you, but, smoking bacon, will cure it.

Took the shell off my racing snail today. Thought it might speed him up, but if anything, it made him more sluggish.

I have to confess, this isn't my real hair. It's a toupee passed on to me from my dad. It's kind of a family hairloom.

What do you do if you are attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler.

My wife said I'm lacking empathy. I don't understand why she feels that way!