Corny Dad Jokes

My wife said that I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much. I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”

Someone tried to scam me by selling invisibility cloaks, but I saw right through them.

I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig yet.

How did the hipster drown? He went ice skating before it was cool.

What's more effective than a heat seeking missile? A heat seeking hittle.

Prime numbers and stoners have a lot in common. The higher they get, the more spaced out they become!

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He as too far out man.