Corny Dad Jokes

My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll himself a joint. He's now high on my list of priorities.

Sting was kidnapped. The police have no lead!

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows a bit high today. She looked surprised.

As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide isn't right for me?

Someone stole all the Red Bull from one of the local stores. I don't know how they can sleep at night.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

The hotter a computer gets, the more it freezes.