Corny Dad Jokes

Every time I wash my contacts in water my eyes sting horribly. I don't know what to do. If only there was a solution!

What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two...

I’m sick and tired of my wife constantly complaining about me sitting around doing nothing. I’m not going to stand for it.

You've never tried blind-folded archery? You don't know what you're missing!

I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present. It's a gift.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature!

I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I was really disappointed. The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) were terrible.