Dad Jokes

Why did the communist only use lower case letters? They hate capitalism!

I sleep with a bat under my bed. Just in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.

Whoever invented the knock knock joke should get a no-bell prize!

I just spent a whole bunch of money on a limo only to find out it didn't include the driver. All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.

I recently bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe. It's a small world.

I accidentally got rice in my headphone jack. Now all my music sounds grainy.

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.