Dad Jokes

What do you call a can opener that's broken? A can't opener.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing

Did you hear about the guy who was late to the cannibal party? He got the cold shoulder.

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100. I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.

I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking. Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

Puns make numb. Math puns make me number.