Dad Jokes

What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me.

Does Hawaii allow loud laughs, or just a low ha?

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays, but in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.

My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough. He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.

What do you call a belt of watches? A waste of time.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two