Dad Jokes

Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you. Genue: weurd but alrught.
If H2O is Water and H2O2 is Hydrogen Peroxide, What is H2O4? Drinking
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office. I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
I recently joined a nudist colony. The first week was the hardest.
What do you call it when a bunch of crows go camping? Murder within tent.
Before my surgery my anesthesiologist asked me if I'd prefer to go with gas, or to get hit in the head with a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.
The English language would be horrible without conjunctions. No ifs, ands, or buts.
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