Dad Jokes

Why do nurses carry around red crayons? In case they have to draw blood!

How do you say "'Sup Dog?" in Japanese? Konichihuahua

Never tell a secret in a cornfield. There are too many ears...

It’s a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It’s a 40 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.

My son tried coffee for the first time today and said it tasted like dirt. I told him, "it was just ground this morning!"

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you? "Pop", goes the weasel.

I called my wife and asked her if I should pick up Fish and Chips on the way home from work and she hung up on me. She's still mad she let me name the kids.