Dad Jokes

Did you hear about the inmate with a stutter who died in prison? He was never able to finish his sentence.

Spongebob may be the main character, but Patrick is the real star!

Doctor: We had to remove your colon. me why?

James Bond once slept right through an earthquake. He was shaken, not stirred

Mom used to feed me alphabet soup because she said I really liked it. I didn't though, she was just putting words in my mouth.

I met my wife on a camping trip. Some people say she's unattractive, with a bland personality, but I find her pretty in tents.

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.