Dad Jokes

The barber had just closed right when I got there. I didn't make the cut.

Wanna know why bees stay in their hive for the winter? 'Swarm

At the grocery store: milk - check, eggs - check, tomatoes - check. Clerk: Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.

If two rival car dealerships had a shared parking area, they would have a lot in common.

Don't throw your tissue away there, its snot recyclable.

I couldn’t decide how much lettuce to buy, but my wife helped me think through it. Two heads are better than one.

How did I get out of Iraq? Iran