Great

Stalin should have known communism wouldn't work. I mean seriously, there were red flags everywhere!
A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message online...
I admit, I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is. I stand corrected.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
We owe a lot to sidewalks. They've been keeping people off the streets for years!
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