I don't have a dad bod. It's more of a father figure.
The worst thing about driving for Uber is all the people talking behind your back.
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”, they get really ticked off.
My wife asked me to stop singing Wonder wall to her. I said maybe...
A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".
You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two...
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