Dad Jokes

Went to the store to get eight cans of sprite. When I got home, I realized I only picked seven up.

What did Delaware? Maybe a New Jersey? I don't know, but Alaska.

What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time? Toot-in-common!

My daughter really changed a lot after becoming a vegan. It was like I had never seen herbivore!

How do you cut an ocean in two? With a see-saw!

Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It's a naan stick pan.

Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues. The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.