Dad Jokes

I just quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice!
I've been reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt.
Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he couldn't complain.
You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationery.
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