Dad Jokes

Mom used to feed me alphabet soup because she said I really liked it. I didn't though, she was just putting words in my mouth.
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot it's on the right foot.
I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest. It's his altar ego.
My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry, I'll return!
Customs officers might not always agree with you, but they can see where you're coming from.
What do you call a small mother? A minimum.
The people at the gym call me a fat loser. I'm glad they can see I'm putting in a lot of effort.
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